Freddie Mac Is Smoking Crack

Freddie’s On Crack – A Cautionary Tale

It was a cold winter’s day, more than 20 below,

When Freddie first saw that his balance was low.

Beg, borrow & steal, he tried all the old tricks,

But this time was different, no one would help him get his kicks.

So he dug in his pockets, but he found only lint,

Things sure got rough on ole Freddie for a stint.

But then Freddie realized, and then Freddie knew,

Where he could borrow & borrow till his fat face turned blue.

So he put on his suit, and walked in, hat in hand,

And went to the people with an outrageous demand.

He said, “I need some more money, and I might never repay it”

The people all gasped, they were shocked to hear him say it.

“Has Freddie gone mad?!?! Has he been smoking crack!?!?”

Still they gave him the money, on a big golden rack.

Knowing for certain he’d never pay them back.

Because this Freddie’s not any Freddie,

This Freddie, was Freddie Mac!

Is Freddie Mac Smoking Crack?

The inspiration for this poem came from a quote I read in an Associated Press article that was featured on mercurynews.com this morning about Freddie Mac and its financial woes. The article said, and I quote:

“And while Freddie Mac didn’t ask for any more bailout money last quarter, the company said it is likely to need more financial aid and might never repay it.”

Which conjured up an image in my head, and that image bubbled into a full on thought…

Even the most low down, degenerate crack head in the world would at least have the decency to humor you and  give you some story about how they’re gonna be able to pay you back before asking you to give them money!

I mean, can you imagine what would happen if you or I, or 99.99999% of the citizens of this country – of this planet even – went to a bank, or mortgage broker, or even a mafia loanshark, and asked for 100 grand with the words “and I might never repay it” attached to your request? You would be laughed out onto the street – at best! Would you lend money to a friend, or probably more accurate, a deadbeat neighbor, if you knew they were utterly insolvent and had little to no chance of ever paying you back? Even parents of deadbeat children are encouraged to “stop being enablers” by constantly giving their kids what they want so they can indulge in whatever lifestyle vices that they see fit.

But somehow, our society has morphed into some twilight zone-esque version of itself, where somehow, as long as you’re a member of the good old boys club known as the “Too Big Too Fails”, you now officially have a license to steal from the taxpaying citizens while the majority of them struggle to pay their bills, keep their homes, and put food on the table. Isn’t it time for us to put our foot down already, to stop being enablers and start practicing some good old fashioned “Tough Love”?

At least a homeowner has collateral against their loan from the bank.  In the event they can’t or don’t want to pay it back, they can at least re-coup some of the money that was lent.  It is preposterous to judge a homeowner that is walking away, when a government bank has a different standard.  Where is the collateral for the money the tax payers have leant to Freddie Mac? What happens when they can’t pay it back? Tough luck I guess.

According to FreddieMac.com, they were established by Congress in 1970 to provide liquidity, stability and affordability to the nation’s residential mortgage markets.  I think it’s fair to say that they have failed miserably on all 3 counts.

But, to give Freddie Mac and the rest of the club some credit, at least they’re honest… But come on! Really? Is that the future of lending? And why would I (the taxpayer) be ok with this. They’ll probably get the $$$$ and laugh all the way to the bank… Wait. I thought they were the bank?!  Hmmmmm…..

To be continued…